Forgiving? A poem and response.

I was once told that you MUST forgive,

If you want to move on with your life. 

If you want to be rid of the pain from the past,

You must forgive those that caused you pain. 

To forgive, is that to forget? 

I can never forget; can I ever forgive? 

I don't think I want to do that,

Forgiving means that I accept what they did. 

Forgiving means,

That I no longer hold them responsible, 

That what they did, was not that bad, 

But it was bad, and they are responsible. 

I don't think I can ever forgive,

And I don't think that I want to. 

Does that mean that I can never move on? 

Does that mean that I will never forget?

One day in the future, 

Maybe I will know what to do, 

But right here and now, 

Forgiving and forgetting, is just not an option. 

I wrote this shortly before I learned a lesson in forgiveness, you see, it does not have to be a conscious decision to forgive. When I realised that if I had the chance to hurt my attackers, the way that they hurt me, and then watch them suffer. If I had that chance, if I had that choice, a simple yes or no answer and they would suffer like I have. Honestly - in all my heart of hearts, I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't wish the pain I've gone through in the past upon even my worst enemy. That's when I realised that by not wishing pain upon them, in my heart I had forgiven them for what they did. It doesn't me that I've forgotten, far from it, and it certainly doesn't mean that I accept what they did to me, I still struggle to come to terms with what they did to me, with what they took from me, but one day, I will find peace in the world.