Reiki session number 1, 13/06/13

As someone who finds it almost impossible to completely relax in the presence of others, I was, to the say the least, a little apprehensive about trying reiki. I'm pretty open-minded though and my biggest fear was experiencing nothing, or even reliving memories from the rapes and seeing their faces, that terrified me. 

I very nearly bottled it completely on the morning, convincing my husband to go before me was the first step, buying me a little extra time to build up the courage to either back out or take this step. Once his session was over, I could feel the tension building up within me, the nerves almost getting the better of me, was I actually strong enough to relax completely and allow someone to touch me? 

Before I had the chance to change my mind, I was being asked to lay down, I knew if I really needed to I could back out at any time but at the same time, despite my apprehensions I really did want to give this a try, especially after the distance reiki experience a few days earlier. 

So I'm lay down, eyes squeezed shut, frantically willing my body to relax, I was aware of the tension in my back, my arms and my legs and I spent some time concentrating on the relaxing these areas. As I feel myself relaxing I see a pair of eyes in front of my face, as they pull away from me, the face of a tiger comes into focus, so detailed I want to reach out and stroke its nose, the face vanishes but I see the tigers stripes, the animal is walking around me, circling me as I walk through the tunnel, I keep seeing glimpses and parts of him yet not the whole tiger. I feel a desire to escape from the tiger, run away, I wasn't afraid of him and he was not threatening in any way, I just wanted to get away from it. 

I then had this profound message come to me, someone was telling me that I was the tiger, that was the reason I wasn't able to escape, you cannot escape from yourself! All this time I've been trying to run away and escape and I've been running from myself which is impossible. 

I also experienced the most intense blue lights, as if someone had literally flicked a switch on in the darkness, beautiful inky blue lights, fading to purple, and then in parts the purple faded to pink and the pink to gold. No particular patterns, just intense swirls merging into each other and an incredible feeling of peace and calm amidst the colours. 

There were other images I saw during the session, the face of a Thai Buddha, an eye (not dissimilar to the eye of Sauron from the lord of the rings films) but the image that stays with me is the face of the tiger and the message that the tiger was bringing me. 

I'm totally looking forward to another session, sometime soon I'm hoping as I really feel this is going to be a big journey for me, one I'm going to enjoy I hope, even the bad parts, should they happen!