I swear to God you both have ruined my life now for far too long and every single time I try to fight back you knock me down again, well I'm sick of it. I'm fed up of the control you have had over my life and my head. I'm trying, God only knows I'm bloody trying, it's a constant uphill battle with everything that you both did to me. But this is one battle that you cannot win, I won't let you, it's just not possible because when you win - I die, it really is that simple, and I'm NOT ready to die! Fighting you both is my only option, I know that now, and I'm damn well prepared to fight until there is absolutely nothing left of you for me to fight anymore. It will happen, it might not be right now, it might not even be in the next week or month, but it will happen one day.
I need you out of my head for good, I just need to figure out how to get to the place where that is possible. It is possible, it just has to be, my sanity depends on it now.
One day I will be able to see you or think about you and what you did, and not feel a thing, to not feel hurt, anger, guilt or any of the myriad of emotions I experience when you're in my head.
One day, not today, not likely tomorrow, maybe not next week, or even next month, but one day, you won't have a place here and I will be strong enough to let you go, strong enough to stop torturing myself, strong enough to be free. One day ........
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